Pure bliss: Bonnie cradling Baby Jordan
Sailor boy Jordan, with brothers Ethan, Kimball, Greg, and Neil
Wide-eyed innocence
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Monday, May 5, 2008
New Discoveries
Jordan and Brianna came home from the hospital Friday evening. We met the home care nurse, Julie, soon after they'd settled in, and found her to be very warm and reassuring, much nicer than we'd imagined. A week of discussions and decisions, of papers being handed to us that we didn't really want to read, or think about, or sign, had made us apprehensive, even leery, of change. But with our feet setupon this new path, we see that we can walk it, hand in hand, determined to do everything in our power that contributes to Jordan's happiness and comfort. We understand that having kind nurses visit us at home to do blood draws, adjust meds, problem solve, and to contact the docs for us is going to be a great help toward that end, after all. For instance, when he developped a fever late Saturday, it was obvious that it was very taxing for Jordan to have to return to the hospital just past midnight, following a good day and night spent at home enjoying the visits of two of his brothers and their families. Once there, the fever vanished on its own, but he was kept overnight for observation, nevertheless. A nap was the first order of business when we welcomed a very tired Jordan home again early Sunday afternoon. Upon waking from a short rest, he and Brianna went for their first turn about the neighborhood in a wheelchair borrowed from a local service club. Then he watched a little of The Count of Monte Cristo, before resorting to the peace and quiet of their own cozy quarters for the rest of the day.
On Friday, we discovered we were sharing our 1/5 acre with a devoted mallard and her nest full of eggs. Not even the chain saw and leaf blower employed by the man we'd engaged to tame our overgrown honeysuckle vine and misshapen boxwoods, induced her to desert her nestlings. Both young and old watched her with great interest from the large picture window of our living room all the next day, as the downy ducklings eagerly emerged from their shells. Hoping not to alarm her, we tried to keep some distance from the duck family as bread and water were set out for them. We pictured loving eyes looking down from the windows of heaven upon our family, similarly leaving little secret gifts within easy reach, intended for our sustenance and blessing.
Don't duck! Missy captures this family photo.
Aunt Penny braids dandelion garlands for Brooklyn and Lilly.
Our Sunday is sweetened by a surprise "heart attack."
On Friday, we discovered we were sharing our 1/5 acre with a devoted mallard and her nest full of eggs. Not even the chain saw and leaf blower employed by the man we'd engaged to tame our overgrown honeysuckle vine and misshapen boxwoods, induced her to desert her nestlings. Both young and old watched her with great interest from the large picture window of our living room all the next day, as the downy ducklings eagerly emerged from their shells. Hoping not to alarm her, we tried to keep some distance from the duck family as bread and water were set out for them. We pictured loving eyes looking down from the windows of heaven upon our family, similarly leaving little secret gifts within easy reach, intended for our sustenance and blessing.
Don't duck! Missy captures this family photo.
Aunt Penny braids dandelion garlands for Brooklyn and Lilly.
Our Sunday is sweetened by a surprise "heart attack."
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Here We Are
When Jordan was eight years old, his grandpa spent several months in a hospital, located about three hours away from our home. We loaded up the family station wagon three or four times with our then six sons, telling them that we were going to Seattle. On one of our last visits before grandpa was able to return home, two-year-old Colin finally found the words to ask the burning question, "Who's Attle?? :)
For all who have hoped with us that we would See Attle this week, or more specifically, that we would be able to see Dr. Hawkins, we need to let you know that it was necessary to cancel the trip. We did, however, participate in a conference call, which included Jordan, Brianna, both Dr. Zuckerman and Dr. Hawkins, Jordan's parents, and other hospital personnel. It has been recommended, (and much thought and prayer are being given to the recommendation), that it is time to shift to a palliative approach to treatment.
You will be glad to know that the pain is under control once again. We would also like for you to know that we are in awe over Jordan's calm strength, his gentle consideration of Brianna, and all others, and the steady, unfailing courage we see in him each day. Don't discount our admiration for him because he is our beloved Jordan, for many have spoken to us of his remarkable attributes and disposition in the face of this tremendously difficult trial.
For all who have hoped with us that we would See Attle this week, or more specifically, that we would be able to see Dr. Hawkins, we need to let you know that it was necessary to cancel the trip. We did, however, participate in a conference call, which included Jordan, Brianna, both Dr. Zuckerman and Dr. Hawkins, Jordan's parents, and other hospital personnel. It has been recommended, (and much thought and prayer are being given to the recommendation), that it is time to shift to a palliative approach to treatment.
You will be glad to know that the pain is under control once again. We would also like for you to know that we are in awe over Jordan's calm strength, his gentle consideration of Brianna, and all others, and the steady, unfailing courage we see in him each day. Don't discount our admiration for him because he is our beloved Jordan, for many have spoken to us of his remarkable attributes and disposition in the face of this tremendously difficult trial.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
This Is So Jordan: emailed from China on 3/21/2007
NOTE: Briannas answer will be first, Jordans answer second.
1. What time did you get up this morning? 9:15am / 10:30am
2. Diamonds or Pearls? "Probably pearls because pearls can be eaten." / (In reply to Brianna,"What???") Diamonds.
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? The mission impossible with Tom Cruise / Same
4. What is your favorite TV show? The Homeless (some japanese show) / Star Trek
5. What did you have for breakfast? Rice powder rolled in a ball with vegetable soup. / Chocolate
6. What is your middle name? Chinese people typically don't have middle names / McKay
7. What is your favorite Cuisine? Chinese Guangdong Province food / Rice and pork with spinage
8. What do you dislike? Hunger and being cold and sickness and being lonely / The question is broad enough that it would take me more time than I'm willing to spend trying to figure out some sort of a conclusive answer. If I just name a few things I dislike it would not really be an accurate representation. If I try to label a single thing I dislike I can always think of something I dislike more. For example, if I say "I dislike leg cramps" I then feel like erasing it and saying "I dislike it when my teeth hurt." (Since my teeth hurting is a larger problem than a leg cramp, not that either of them are large problems really.) But now I just noticed something, which is that both of the things I listed were types of physical pain. So I would say "Physical pain" as my answer except "leg cramps" and "hurting teeth" were only EXAMPLES and not actual things that I think of when I am thinking of things I dislike. Now you are beginning to see what happens though when I try to make a list of things I dislike (all these thoughts go through my head in like 2 seconds, over and over, in all sorts of variations) so I hope you can forgive me for not putting an answer to this question.
9. What is your favorite potato chip? Regular standard non flavored (but salted) chips / Probably KC Masterpiece or whatever it is flavored chips from America.
10. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Don't have CD / My WarCraft III CD.
11. What kind of car do you drive? Don't know how to drive and don't have a car / None, I take a taxi or what-have-you. We will buy a bicycle in the summer though, we think.
12. Favorite Sandwich? I don't eat sandwich / The one described in The Princess Bride, except substitute bacon for mutton.
13. What characteristics do you despise? Tons. Arrogance, Cruelty, I don't know now. / I would imagine most people don't realize that this question (along with many questions) are extremely vague. All the question asked is "What characteristics do you despise?" not "What characteristics do you despise, IN A PERSON." So I'm going to assume it is asking "What characteristics do you despise, in a bowl of rice." My answers, hardness, too hottiness, burnedness, not cooked well enoughness, and sogginess.
14. What are your favorite clothes? Stylish ones and good materials and fit me / My brown cargo pocket pants whatever those are called, and my green "lucky" shirt.
15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation? America / An undiscovered (in modern times) cave that has 15 billion dollars worth of jewels and gold and stuff in it, and I'm not trapped in it or anything..and there is nothing stopping me from cashing out on the contents or anything.
16. What color are your eyes? Brown / Green
17. Favorite brand of clothing? I don't know brands / I don't care
18. Where would you want to retire? Somewhere warm and clean with fresh air and beautiful / These theoretical questions are really tempting me. Where "would" you want.... it makes me want to type something like "A place where if I am there I instantly have infinity wishes and unlimited power." But I'll stick with a more normal answer and say "Where ever Brianna is."
19. Favorite time of day? Sleeping time / Sleeping time
20. Where were you born? Dongguan, Guangdong, China / Moses Lake, Washington, USA
21. What is your favorite sport to watch? Olympic games / Not sure
22. Who do you think will not send this back? Myself / I don't know... these questions are tricks anyways to try to get the people who fill these out to provoke others into sending them.
23. Person you expect to send it back first? Someone who hasn't done it yet / Whatever
24. Pepsi or Coke? Whats different between pepsi and coke? / None
25. Cats or Dogs? Dogs / Dogs, but I like cats too
26. Are you a morning person or a night owl? I was a morning person but I'm getting poisoned by Jordan / Night person
27. Pedicure or manicure? The one for your hands / whatever
28. Do you prefer funny or mushy cards? Funny / Funny
29. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with everyone? We are at home (what she means is we are at her parents home in Guangdong) / No.
30. What did you want to be when you were little? Model or a movie star / a computer guy
31. What do you have in your trunk right now? I don't have one / "What you gunna do with all that junk, all that junk inside that trunk?"
32. What is your best childhood memory? Dancing out on top of a big car on chinese valentines day / Forts and stuff.
33. What are the different jobs you have had in your life? Worked at Giordanno, taught foreigners english. and worked with Jordan at MMOVP.com / Grape handler, worked for Shane Christensen for a bit, Fed Ex package handler, home loan call center, qwest DSL tech support call center, Ipod support call center, worked on flash for knowligent.com, worked at a haunted house some, off and on worked for myself selling virtual currency, worked at an english teaching center in china, currently working for mmovp.com...probably some other stuff
34. Favorite Holiday? Mid autumn festival / New year
35. What is your favorite dessert? Watermelon juice / so many ... i don't know
36. Favorite Summer getaway? Somewhere with a lot of fruit to eat / China, LOL!
37. Ever been to Africa? No / No, but I did sleep at best western last night.
38. Glasses or Contacts? I'm wearing glasses but I'd rather use contacts but my eyes cant handle them / Glasses
39. Ever been toilet papering? No / No
40. Been in a car accident? No, but a motorcycle ran into my bike once / Not really..if so I don't really remember
41. Favorite day of the week? Friday / Sunday
42. Favorite restaurant? The Steak restaurant where we get tons of free fruit / The Steak restaurant where I eat a lot of steak
43. Favorite flower? I don't know much about flower / Lilac
44. Favorite movies? Asoka and some Chinese stuff...but I like TV series more / LOTR and STAR WARS and many others... sci fi is good, and spy movies, and movies about smart people
45. Favorite Pastime? Yoga, resting, watching good TV shows, eating good food, spending time with my family / computer
46. Favorite fast food restaurant? KFC, but I don't like it much and don't eat there often / prolly subway, none here though that I know of
47. How many times did you fail your drivers test? N/A / 0
48. From whom did you get your last email? Bonnie / Bonnie
49. Sandals or tennis shoes? Sandals / Sandals for freedom and shoes for being able to run fast and stuff
50. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? I don't know much about credit card /http://www.newegg.com/
51. If the speed limit is 60 what is the fastest you will drive? I don't know speed, but if I could drive I would drive pretty slow / 65 or so
52. Bedtime? 1-3am / Same
53. Who are you most curious about their responses to this? Shane / Bill Gates
54. Last person you went to dinner with? Jordan / Brianna
55. What are you listening to right now? Listening to Jordan typing / Listening to Brianna telling me what to type
56. What is your favorite color? Probably green, all colors are good though / Green or blue or something, sometimes red maybe, but I think green is overall my favorite color.
57. How many tattoos do you have? 0 / 0
58. How many people are you sending this E-mail to? 1, and I'm going to ask her to please send it to anyone else "on the list"
59. What time did you finish this e-mail? / Not finished yet.
60. What animal would you be reincarnated as? Human / I would not choose to be reincarnated as an animal because the idea of reincarnation comes primarily from Buddhism, and I have studied Buddhism some and, GENERALLY SPEAKING, found that a human is only reincarnated as an animal if he was really stupid and evil during his life. It is worse than being reincarnated as a poor, sick, deformed human. So if I was reincarnated I would like to be reincarnated as a Buddha (except thats not an animal), and a human is arguably not an animal either, so I'm going to have to go with "smart, well groomed, long and happy lifed monkey."
1. What time did you get up this morning? 9:15am / 10:30am
2. Diamonds or Pearls? "Probably pearls because pearls can be eaten." / (In reply to Brianna,"What???") Diamonds.
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? The mission impossible with Tom Cruise / Same
4. What is your favorite TV show? The Homeless (some japanese show) / Star Trek
5. What did you have for breakfast? Rice powder rolled in a ball with vegetable soup. / Chocolate
6. What is your middle name? Chinese people typically don't have middle names / McKay
7. What is your favorite Cuisine? Chinese Guangdong Province food / Rice and pork with spinage
8. What do you dislike? Hunger and being cold and sickness and being lonely / The question is broad enough that it would take me more time than I'm willing to spend trying to figure out some sort of a conclusive answer. If I just name a few things I dislike it would not really be an accurate representation. If I try to label a single thing I dislike I can always think of something I dislike more. For example, if I say "I dislike leg cramps" I then feel like erasing it and saying "I dislike it when my teeth hurt." (Since my teeth hurting is a larger problem than a leg cramp, not that either of them are large problems really.) But now I just noticed something, which is that both of the things I listed were types of physical pain. So I would say "Physical pain" as my answer except "leg cramps" and "hurting teeth" were only EXAMPLES and not actual things that I think of when I am thinking of things I dislike. Now you are beginning to see what happens though when I try to make a list of things I dislike (all these thoughts go through my head in like 2 seconds, over and over, in all sorts of variations) so I hope you can forgive me for not putting an answer to this question.
9. What is your favorite potato chip? Regular standard non flavored (but salted) chips / Probably KC Masterpiece or whatever it is flavored chips from America.
10. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Don't have CD / My WarCraft III CD.
11. What kind of car do you drive? Don't know how to drive and don't have a car / None, I take a taxi or what-have-you. We will buy a bicycle in the summer though, we think.
12. Favorite Sandwich? I don't eat sandwich / The one described in The Princess Bride, except substitute bacon for mutton.
13. What characteristics do you despise? Tons. Arrogance, Cruelty, I don't know now. / I would imagine most people don't realize that this question (along with many questions) are extremely vague. All the question asked is "What characteristics do you despise?" not "What characteristics do you despise, IN A PERSON." So I'm going to assume it is asking "What characteristics do you despise, in a bowl of rice." My answers, hardness, too hottiness, burnedness, not cooked well enoughness, and sogginess.
14. What are your favorite clothes? Stylish ones and good materials and fit me / My brown cargo pocket pants whatever those are called, and my green "lucky" shirt.
15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation? America / An undiscovered (in modern times) cave that has 15 billion dollars worth of jewels and gold and stuff in it, and I'm not trapped in it or anything..and there is nothing stopping me from cashing out on the contents or anything.
16. What color are your eyes? Brown / Green
17. Favorite brand of clothing? I don't know brands / I don't care
18. Where would you want to retire? Somewhere warm and clean with fresh air and beautiful / These theoretical questions are really tempting me. Where "would" you want.... it makes me want to type something like "A place where if I am there I instantly have infinity wishes and unlimited power." But I'll stick with a more normal answer and say "Where ever Brianna is."
19. Favorite time of day? Sleeping time / Sleeping time
20. Where were you born? Dongguan, Guangdong, China / Moses Lake, Washington, USA
21. What is your favorite sport to watch? Olympic games / Not sure
22. Who do you think will not send this back? Myself / I don't know... these questions are tricks anyways to try to get the people who fill these out to provoke others into sending them.
23. Person you expect to send it back first? Someone who hasn't done it yet / Whatever
24. Pepsi or Coke? Whats different between pepsi and coke? / None
25. Cats or Dogs? Dogs / Dogs, but I like cats too
26. Are you a morning person or a night owl? I was a morning person but I'm getting poisoned by Jordan / Night person
27. Pedicure or manicure? The one for your hands / whatever
28. Do you prefer funny or mushy cards? Funny / Funny
29. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with everyone? We are at home (what she means is we are at her parents home in Guangdong) / No.
30. What did you want to be when you were little? Model or a movie star / a computer guy
31. What do you have in your trunk right now? I don't have one / "What you gunna do with all that junk, all that junk inside that trunk?"
32. What is your best childhood memory? Dancing out on top of a big car on chinese valentines day / Forts and stuff.
33. What are the different jobs you have had in your life? Worked at Giordanno, taught foreigners english. and worked with Jordan at MMOVP.com / Grape handler, worked for Shane Christensen for a bit, Fed Ex package handler, home loan call center, qwest DSL tech support call center, Ipod support call center, worked on flash for knowligent.com, worked at a haunted house some, off and on worked for myself selling virtual currency, worked at an english teaching center in china, currently working for mmovp.com...probably some other stuff
34. Favorite Holiday? Mid autumn festival / New year
35. What is your favorite dessert? Watermelon juice / so many ... i don't know
36. Favorite Summer getaway? Somewhere with a lot of fruit to eat / China, LOL!
37. Ever been to Africa? No / No, but I did sleep at best western last night.
38. Glasses or Contacts? I'm wearing glasses but I'd rather use contacts but my eyes cant handle them / Glasses
39. Ever been toilet papering? No / No
40. Been in a car accident? No, but a motorcycle ran into my bike once / Not really..if so I don't really remember
41. Favorite day of the week? Friday / Sunday
42. Favorite restaurant? The Steak restaurant where we get tons of free fruit / The Steak restaurant where I eat a lot of steak
43. Favorite flower? I don't know much about flower / Lilac
44. Favorite movies? Asoka and some Chinese stuff...but I like TV series more / LOTR and STAR WARS and many others... sci fi is good, and spy movies, and movies about smart people
45. Favorite Pastime? Yoga, resting, watching good TV shows, eating good food, spending time with my family / computer
46. Favorite fast food restaurant? KFC, but I don't like it much and don't eat there often / prolly subway, none here though that I know of
47. How many times did you fail your drivers test? N/A / 0
48. From whom did you get your last email? Bonnie / Bonnie
49. Sandals or tennis shoes? Sandals / Sandals for freedom and shoes for being able to run fast and stuff
50. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? I don't know much about credit card /http://www.newegg.com/
51. If the speed limit is 60 what is the fastest you will drive? I don't know speed, but if I could drive I would drive pretty slow / 65 or so
52. Bedtime? 1-3am / Same
53. Who are you most curious about their responses to this? Shane / Bill Gates
54. Last person you went to dinner with? Jordan / Brianna
55. What are you listening to right now? Listening to Jordan typing / Listening to Brianna telling me what to type
56. What is your favorite color? Probably green, all colors are good though / Green or blue or something, sometimes red maybe, but I think green is overall my favorite color.
57. How many tattoos do you have? 0 / 0
58. How many people are you sending this E-mail to? 1, and I'm going to ask her to please send it to anyone else "on the list"
59. What time did you finish this e-mail? / Not finished yet.
60. What animal would you be reincarnated as? Human / I would not choose to be reincarnated as an animal because the idea of reincarnation comes primarily from Buddhism, and I have studied Buddhism some and, GENERALLY SPEAKING, found that a human is only reincarnated as an animal if he was really stupid and evil during his life. It is worse than being reincarnated as a poor, sick, deformed human. So if I was reincarnated I would like to be reincarnated as a Buddha (except thats not an animal), and a human is arguably not an animal either, so I'm going to have to go with "smart, well groomed, long and happy lifed monkey."
Sunday, April 27, 2008
More Than a Request
The trip is in jeopardy. Pain escalated today. As of this afternoon, Jordan started running a fever, the first in two weeks. All oral pain meds are discontinued, the morphine drip is being turned up. Blood cultures have been drawn, and more antibiotics begun. A priesthood blessing has been given. We look to heaven, awaiting relief.
Many have prayed with us. Some have combined fasting with prayer. Pleas continue.
Many have prayed with us. Some have combined fasting with prayer. Pleas continue.
Soaking Up Sunday
Saturday's counts were HGB, 11.3: WBC, .2 (I've been writing it incorrectly as .02); platelets 22K. This mornings: HGB, 9.8; WBC still .2; platelets 18K. Dr. Z. is giving some real thought to getting Jordan off the morphine drip and finding effective oral meds he can take instead, so that we can make the Seattle trip this week. We can't set off on an eight-hour drive if Jordan's experiencing uncontrolled pain, fevers, nosebleeds, or is in need of transfusions. It all has to come together just so to work out!
The drip is slowly being titrated downward. It's down from 8MG/H to 4MG/H. Both immediate release and sustained release morphine pills are being used. The meds are worrisome, but pain, more so. Thankfully, Jordan feels well enough to spend several hours each day on the computer. In most of his previous hospitalizations, weeks passed without his giving it a thought or a glance! The CBC's tell one story, but his computer usage tells quite another, and it's our preferred version.
The drip is slowly being titrated downward. It's down from 8MG/H to 4MG/H. Both immediate release and sustained release morphine pills are being used. The meds are worrisome, but pain, more so. Thankfully, Jordan feels well enough to spend several hours each day on the computer. In most of his previous hospitalizations, weeks passed without his giving it a thought or a glance! The CBC's tell one story, but his computer usage tells quite another, and it's our preferred version.
Friday, April 25, 2008
The Big 21
After last night's intense gaming session, this has been a quiet and restful day, a day for Jordan to be revitalized by the 32nd transfusion of platelets, and the 21st transfusion of packed red blood cells. With platelets at 12K, and HGB at 8.1,it was unquestionably time well spent. Boo hiss, LDH is on the climb, at 4,285.
Thanks to St. Luke's for giving Jordan, Brianna, Shane, Ryan and Audra the use of one of their conference rooms for all the fun, games, and snacks.
Thanks to St. Luke's for giving Jordan, Brianna, Shane, Ryan and Audra the use of one of their conference rooms for all the fun, games, and snacks.
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